make it break it.

long time no post

so i was having pizza with a good friend of mine and i discussed that the problem that involved you. i talked how careless you are about trying to see me. i talked about how much effort i am making just to see you. i said that everytime i try to see you, it seems like you make up some shitty excuse to not see me. like i said, i am always willing to go to you, if you are too busy to come to me. you wont even come of a sec to see me after almost 4 years. im getting very tired of that and its upsetting me. my friend asks me: "if you're doing all this to see her and shes acting the way she is, is it worth going through all that trouble?" i said, "i've waited so long. it cant hurt to wait just a little more" and its true. i HAVE waited very long. it seems like all the days i have planned for us to meet is discarded by you. so, this is why i have made this last date. i told my friend, "i have made this last date as a last attempt to see her. december 21, first monday of winter break. if for some reason she doesnt show up, that is when i spend no more time thinking of you anymore. that is when i turn away from her and say fuck it." my friend hears this and asks me, "so, that date for you is pretty much just for her to make it or break it right?" i thought about it. it was totally correct. thats exactly how i feel. make it or break it. i dont have much faith anymore of you showing up. you've let me down too many times. so thi is it. if you do decide to break it, i'll know every effort i have tried to bring us together has been wasted. everything, gone. thanks for talking to me friend =) if not for you, who knows how much longer i would kept chasing the moon.

"in a moment we could lose everything, lets talk about this somewhere only we know"