at school

the only reason i am at school at...3:16 still is that my sister made the basketball team. my mom thought it would be a a good idea to have me stay here and do homework until she is finished her practice. her practice starts at 5:00 pm...and i dont know how long it goes till. it is freezing outside and pouring rain. i have to go home in that weather..with my sister =.= why does the practice has to start so late?? why not start at 3:15 and end at 5:30? maybe then i wouldnt have to complain so much. but holy shizz i dont wanna stay here for like 4 or more hours just doing homework and shit. at least i'll get a whole chunk done. thats one positive side to this.
i got grounded from the computer for 2 weeks..so i cant go home and watch yu-gi-oh. i would go home homework free =D
thats the end of my complaining. talk to you....when i can get a hold of another computer, or sneak on at home xD

"when im feeling blue, all i have to do, is take a look at you, then im not so blue"

yu-gi-oh obessed again?? 0.o

so umm, i've been aching for a yu-gi-oh duel!!! >.< i know its totally outdated now but holy shit, after watching all those old episodes on youtube, i've been bothering the shit out of my sisters to have them play yu-gi-oh with me =( they always so no tell tell me to go away ='( but holy crap, you have no idea. im tempted to go to school and ask everyone to play me. i use to be sooo good at that game but after years and years of not playing it, i suck now. but im sure if i play some more, i'll be so pro again xD just when i thought that i've matured, i start watching and playing again... alls i wanna do now is march my ass to crystal mall and buy all those old cards..even if i cant play with anyone. dark magician...red eyes black dragon...blue eyes white dragon....omg.. DAMN!!! anyways, when my littlest sister comes home, i will bug her to play with me. if she doesnt...well, i'll try to make her xDxD

other than that, i missed yet another sweet 16 this weekend. it was my good friend jenny's. it looked and sounded like it was so much fun. frickk. i cant believe i missed 4 people's sweet 16s in less than a month.

i have three tests next week..time to study. physics, math, and law
x.x dooomed..and still wanna watch that old cartoon ='(

"It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!! *music*"

whats going on?

im bored as hell right now, and suprised that i have kept this blog going =) it still looks crappy and plain but i have had some friends that offered to teach my how to jazz things up but i think im just gunna leave it the way it is. it doesnt have to be fancy like everyone elses. it just has to have posts. im trying my best to get one post a day...but its not working out too well.

SOOOOO first off, for the past week, alls i've done is watch the original Yu-Gi-Oh episodes starting from Pegasus' Castle battles with the Star Chips =D its sooo awesome. the last time i watched those same episodes was like 6 years ago xD finished that part, the part where they go to the virtual world to save the Kaiba brothers, and now Yugi is battling with the Dungeon Dice Monsters xD i know im a nerd but hey, its my childhood show =) that and Power Ranger Mighty Morphin Ranger series. cant wait till i get to the part with Kaiba's blimp and all the shadow games =)=)

haha you said that the pie i baked on tueaday looked good, so what did i do..?? i baked you one =) i even put your initials on it =D but what do you do, you take a few bites and give it all away =( i as a little disappointed bcuz it was for you >.< good =")">

math is soooo gay right now. fck the graphs and parabolas and polynomial functions. when the hell am i even gunna apply this in real life?? physics math might be harder but at least i can picture it and its useful..math shit isnt =/

oh yeahh, my sister Kathy made the school basketball team. congragulations kathy, now we know mountain wont win. XDXD just kidding, but really, congrats sis =D

"I remember, when i met you, all the stars were hanging in the air. in this moment, nothing mattered, but the way you caught me in your stare"

my sister's FML story

so haha my sister kathy was going to club aviva in block C. she left right at lunch with her friends but still missed her bus at braid station. LOL =D it was also pouring rain so i laughed when she told me. then, they asked another friend how to get there. the guy said some random stuff and they followed his direction. then, they got lost. they were walking along soe really busy street and then this huge truch went by and totally drenched them =D oh yea, there were like over 10 of them so it was really funny. then after, they caught the bus and went towards aviva. they got there, and to top off their "good" luck, they slipped on a huge mud pile and fell down the hill. =D=D=D=D=D=D woww, i laughed soooo hard when she told me. they jumped on the trampoline for like 2 seconds then had to go back. FHL (eff her life) xDxD
this made my day =]

make it break it.

long time no post

so i was having pizza with a good friend of mine and i discussed that the problem that involved you. i talked how careless you are about trying to see me. i talked about how much effort i am making just to see you. i said that everytime i try to see you, it seems like you make up some shitty excuse to not see me. like i said, i am always willing to go to you, if you are too busy to come to me. you wont even come of a sec to see me after almost 4 years. im getting very tired of that and its upsetting me. my friend asks me: "if you're doing all this to see her and shes acting the way she is, is it worth going through all that trouble?" i said, "i've waited so long. it cant hurt to wait just a little more" and its true. i HAVE waited very long. it seems like all the days i have planned for us to meet is discarded by you. so, this is why i have made this last date. i told my friend, "i have made this last date as a last attempt to see her. december 21, first monday of winter break. if for some reason she doesnt show up, that is when i spend no more time thinking of you anymore. that is when i turn away from her and say fuck it." my friend hears this and asks me, "so, that date for you is pretty much just for her to make it or break it right?" i thought about it. it was totally correct. thats exactly how i feel. make it or break it. i dont have much faith anymore of you showing up. you've let me down too many times. so thi is it. if you do decide to break it, i'll know every effort i have tried to bring us together has been wasted. everything, gone. thanks for talking to me friend =) if not for you, who knows how much longer i would kept chasing the moon.

"in a moment we could lose everything, lets talk about this somewhere only we know"

bitching about homework

omfg....im finally done law homework, and physics homework which was 2 labs was totally brutal... soooo many steps and graphing, and all that jazz =( but its mostly done now. physics quiz tomorrow. and i also finished mu PE leadership homework, which was due last week. holy shit! im gunna say it again. why da fckk is our school giving all the pe leadership students homework and actual classes??? i have to go into school at 7:30...wowwwwwww..lame. no other school does that shizz.
and baking homework, what a fcken joke. seriously, i already have the recipe and now i gotta write the whole fcking thing out again?? to my teachers format? no fcking way! whats with all these pointless homework assignments huhh?? honestly..what good is it to copy out somethingp perfectly fine?? >=( stupid baking teacher and her homework. damn, mudafckah stupid!! barely even started yet... oh jeeze... fricken sucks..
there, im done my bitching on stupid homework assignments for now. thanks for listening. good night, im going to school early tmr for another pointless lesson and more pe leadership homework.

early dismissal

sooo... today at school we had early dismisal and we got out at 12:10. it was great because it was a day 1 and i hate day 1's. after school i helped my friends and mrs. byrne put up the socials studies bulliten. after that, i just randomly walked with my friends uptowards lougheed and when we got to a bus stop and saw the bus, me and amanda took the bus home together, even though she lives closer than me. i get home just as my dad's about to go outside. i am home alone now =)so im blasting TRANCE!! and some peurto rican songs frikkkken loud =) it sounds sooo nice. i know which speakers to buy now for my new room =]

yesterday was pretty much total crap but got wayyy better after about 6 pm. i talked to my 2 very good friends wendy and landy and they totally cheered me up. a little bit of cappacino and talking with my mom helped.

soo, i thot i'd provide a few trance that will totally take you away.
-trip to paradise
-raver's fantacy
-dj boyler-keep on moving]
-primary disease
-melody from heaven

so lets say you're bored one day and have nothing to do, check out those songs. they're amazing, and even better if blasted like crazy =)


"Just smile for me, would you be down for me, would you be around for me, im your loverr"

its funny how things work out in the end..

heyyyyy everyone!!! so im in a helluva good mood right now. i have my reasons why =) today started out sooooo very shitty. woke up, felt like shit, then one sister goes to a bday party and the other one went to metro and hung out. even my dad went to richmond with his friends and i stayed home all alone and did homework. then i started to talk to wendy on msn and everything was a little bit better but still felt really bad. then i went to costco and came back and made french vanilla and nesquik mixed together and it tasted grea =) then i finally talked to my mom whos whos in taiwan getting lazer eye surgery on the phone and i felt so much better after. she told me what she bought for me and i was super cheered up after =D. when my dad got home, he took me out for sushi and sashimi =O im so suprised cuz this is like the first time we actually talked since halloween. obviously the sushi was great. thenn, my good friend ray gave us both a wonderful idea for school. i love it and i think it will be very very successful. good luck to both of us, and we'll see who's laughing when it does work

"Do you remember, a kiss under the moonlight,back when it was summer, it was love at first sight, and can you remember, cuz i feel the same now, right through the winter, we'll see blooming this love"

lies

i've lied about a lot of stuff. i've lied to many people, but mostly to myself. some lies are not so serious. some were very serious and can hurt people very badly if they found out. one day, i will tell them and come clean. i need to straiten myself out because i cant keep doing this.

"I've still got your face, painted on my heart, scrowed upon my soul, etched across my memories baby and i got your kiss, still burning on my lips, the touch of our finger tips, this love so deep inside of me, baby"

dont get to do anything

still in trouble with my dad, and i dont get to go anywhere tmr (rememberance day holiday), thursday (half day) or friday (another half day). what i did on halloween was definatly not worth it. those stupid 2 hours has ruined everything for me. trust, gone. fun, gone. everything, gone. i hope i will be able to go out around at christmas break bcuz i already planned it with someone to meet then on december 21st, the first monday of the winter break. i havent seen for for almost 3 years now and i really want to. if i dont get to see her, then im gunna be realllllllly pissed off. like, 'you wont even beieve it' pissed off. even though i have no more feelings for her anymore, i still want to see her very very badly and catch up on three years that went by.

so, i have been pretty good about keeping my feelings to myself. if i supress it for long enough, maybe it will be gone. i think its worked. i usually supress it cuz i have bad luck with that stuff -__- blehhh. its good to think that this went by unnoticed. maybe its not gone but im just telling myself its gone so i can get over it. either way, there is nothing good or bad that will change my feelings towards other ppl. so bottom line, if it doesnt work out, i'll be mad at myself for a second, and get on with my life.

and just saying: my blog loooks wayy too plain. dont know how to fix it up but whatever.

shopping list 101

im moving soon so im retiring a bunch of my old stuff. last week while i was throwing out and donating lots of my old stuff, it was sad to see it all go away cuz i;ve had it for so long and even though i might not have worn it, or used it in a while, it still had sentimental value to me...but it was all too much to bring with me so i gave them all away. wow...i almost got emotional...but didnt =) i looked forward to buying new stuff to fill my new room, which is about 1/3 the size of my room now =( at least it will me roomy and cozy. the following is a bunch of stuff i need to buy.

-speakers
-headphones
-radio/cd player
-minifridge (maybe; not likely cuz parents probably wont allow)
-a stocked shelve full of snacks
-awesome curtains
-an amazing car poster (maybe 2, or 3.....maybe cover my whole wall)
-a few gundam seed/wing and car models i can build myself
-new clothes for my closet (definatly) =)
-a laptop than im buying in christmass!!!! =D
-car tint for my windows xD probably be soooo cool. maybe...40%?

thats everything i can think of right now. i know there was a lot more but... this is it for now i guess.. i shall one by one get everything eventually =D

downwards spiral.

so because of halloween incedent, i became super grounded and therefor, i had to miss two of my good friend's sweet 16s. i mean, wtf??? what kinda shitty luck is that? 2 sweet 16's on the same weekend and i had to miss both?? anyways, i made the 'best' out of a bad situation because i already booked saturday off work, so i pretty much had free with from 7am-3pm. i decided not to tell me dad that i didnt have work so i 'went' to work. i stopped at jenny's house, called daniel out. we waited for jenny but then decided to go to tim hortons at lougheed instead. after, we came back to jenny's house and her mom made us another breakfast there. it was great! then, we went to daniels house. i played Medal of Honor with jenny and won =D then we left for shabrina's birthday party. i only help to set up and stuff but missed the whole actual party. when i left our friends were just coming =( half way through helping setting up, fucking stupid dumbass macdonalds has to call my house and ask if i could work. wow....good fucking job guys, i booked the day off and you still call my house.. -____- so anyways, my dad found out i didnt have work and he told me to get home right away. when i got home, i got into more trouble...bleh. i blame macdonalds.
but today, i completely missed ALL of wendy's sweet 16 =( i will make it up by doing a video for her. gotta get creative again.

school and such

so i found out today that im actually getting 86% in my psychology class!! BUT...i screwed up a quiz today at 8/15 and i got 27/35 on a presentation....fcukk!!!!!!! i worked so hard for that 86% and now its gunna be like 80... ='( we have about 50 marks up for grabs before the term's over so....i gotta work hard >.<

in math, we're learning quadratic equations and parabolas and stuff... we had a unit test on that today and what i knew, i knew really well but i forgot to study a whole section!!! so.. the best i can get now is about 22/28......cuz i left the spaces blank. i really need the highest mark i can get in math right now...plus our teacher is crazy.

in engrish, im actually getting 96%!! holy shit, i suck at engrish and i somehow managed to pull a 96%?? =O thats pretty awesome. in french, i think im getting about 84%...not too bad considering i hate and suck at french.

schools hard, lifes hard, ahh, i need something BIG to just come out at me now and just cheer me up..still hoping.

what if..?

i know i probably owe you like, 543534 good night hugs now, but what if i dont wanna wait till the next time we see eachother? what if i wanna give them to you now? what if i tell you? what if you dont feel the same? what if this ruins our friendship? what if you did feel the same? what if it was all good? what if, what if, what if....=/

its hard keeping it in...finally telling it

do you know how much i like you? how much i love you? of course not. i havent told you yet. i havent told you for....a VERY VERY long time. i've had enough now. i always try to make time to see you. i even told you i'll go and visit you because you live so far away, you you still say you're too busy for me. you wont even take a few hours to see me after not seeing eachother for that long? its been crazy for me trying to have us see eachother and i've waited enough now. i cant say that the time i've waited was a waste, because it's not. i've learned that waiting can hurt someone really bad. i know you dont realize this and its partially my fault for not telling you but what can i do? you never have the time to talk. this is something serious and its not like i can just tell you this over facebook. i havent seen you for almost three years now, and i miss you so much. im afraid i dont love you anymore, and i've already moved on. i cant believe months ago i was still crazy about you, just like i had been for the last 3 year...and all of a sudden i realized i cant go on like this. i have to let you go now. i kinda want to know what you feel, or felt about me though.. i guess i'll never know. now, i just want to say goodbye, and tell you the last three years of my life that involved any thought of you, was painful.

so, where's the end of this shit tunnel?

so on saturday, as some of you might now, i went to a halloween party that eventually for out of control. everything i didnt there i regret now. i friend told me before i went there to "not do thything i'll regret" and at that time, i didnt listen because i thought i could control myself.
i didnt..and whats worse, i dragged another friend into this mess with me. i told him to come to this party with me and he did. we both got into the biggest shit of our lives. without going into all the details again, i put him in so much danger...
the details of the party, i dont remember anything. another friend told me about an unfortunate incedent that happened with me and someone else. i wont say what but that resulted badly.
my dad is neglecting to talk to me now because he is too dissapointed. my mom's not here right now but i know when she comes back, she will be just as furious.
this was probably the worse decision of my life..and i apologize to the friend that i brought to the party for getting him into this mess.